Stapler Maniac Foiled By Cool Thinking

Power Struggle Breaks Out In Public Toilets

Name Shortage In Pakistan

New Motoring Laws Cause Concern

Famous Historical Gay Man Was 'Closet Womaniser'

ETA Launches Hostile Takeover Bid

THE Northern Ireland peace process is on the verge of collapse today after Basque separatist terror group ETA launched a hostile takeover bid for Sinn Fein, the political wing of the Irish Republican Army.
Sinn Fein's share value trebled overnight after ETA's surprise offer valued them at a staggering £3.1 billion, but with Sinn Fein's key asset being the IRA and their weapons stockpiles, any conditions brokered as part of the peace process to decommission the weapons could leave the deal dead in the water. Without the IRA, Sinn Fein is worth less than 10 per cent of the offer price of £12.50 per share. ETA, who specialise in train and car bombings, see the IRA as crucial to their long-term strategy of promoting their brand in the lucrative armed robbery and extortion sectors....full story

Taleban announce record profits, buy into Marks & Spencer

Megacon Media announce new title

The Voice of Hades

We note that recently much has been said of the situation regarding Britain and Europe. Is Britain out or are we in? Are we ready to take the baton of unity from our continental neighbours and run with it or will we walk into the grassy bit in the middle of the stadium and participate in the triple-jump, by ourselves?...full story

Huge Arms Dump Uncovered On British Mainland

The largest ever arms dump found on mainland Britain has been uncovered following a hazardous six month investigation by the Hades news-team.. The dump, located near the sleepy Hampshire town of Aldershot, was discovered last week by Hades reporters using only Ordnance Survey Maps and a series of tip-offs from shadowy underworld sources. The find will set alarm bells...full story

Chinese Scientists Say They've Got Loads of Stuff Like Gunpowder

New gene find causes uproar in academia

Scientist In Legal Battle Over the Patent to H2O

Space Age Drug To Be Marketed 'Soon'

Soapers Get Greased By Blair

A Life In Ruins

Son of God to Launch a "Jesus Advantage Card"

In a move to bolster falling church revenues, Jesus, son of God, is to take part in a celebrity launch of the new Church credit-card. In a rare press conference, believed to be his first in almost 2000 years, the usually reclusive Messiah said: ``Over the years we had to wield the sword to protect Christianity...full story

Son of God to Launch a "Jesus Advantage Card"

Norwich Cathedral Moves To Leamington Spa